Marriage as a Solution to Avoid 'Zina'

Commonly known, dating is forbidden for the Muslims. Although this view is not entirely obeyed by all its followers, even in Muslim dominated Southeast Asian countries (Indonesia, Malaysia and Brunei), but some are driven to make a movement based on the prohibition. One of them is La Ode Munafar, founder of Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran (Indonesia Without Dating) Movement.

Shortly, the movement encourages its members and fellow young, unmarried Muslims around Indonesia to avoid dating and get straight to marriage. In a way, they keep reminding their members through social media, especially women, that waiting for the right man is worthwhile. In addition, they also encourage the young men to propose the women they (by faith) believe in. However, this movement (and more minor movements similar to this one) raised counter-opinions from feminists, women empowerment media and open-minded news media. The movement is seen to be narrow-minded with logical fallacy solutions by simplifying the marriage itself.

Marriage has long been an ‘exit’ and ‘goal’ for most women. They foresee themselves having an identity as someone’s wife and have a man to lean on. Simply, marriage is a woman’s path to Happily Ever After. A famous term for this is Cinderella Complex. Modern women may ignore this concept, but they would still get jitters as they’re approaching the age of 30 and still not married.

Questions are also raised on what is the proper age to get married in Islam. Some refer to Baliqh, when a woman starts her period. But some also add that Baliqh is not only about physical, but also mental maturity. The interpretation is biased. Yet, we can be sure of one thing: women have to be physically ready to not only lay with her husband, but to also bear a child (or children) and give birth.

In a way, the argument that the movement put forward could be considered as a logical fallacy. “Being married at a very young age is better than dating (zina)” somewhat leads to say that “people cannot contain themselves from zina”. It is as if the young Muslims are only given two polar opposite choices without an alternative between postponing marriage and not performing zina. Aside from this, the movement may seem to empower Muslim women to protect and respect themselves, but taking a closer look, there are still gender oppressing contents. Women in this community are guided to become a certain way,